How much money do I really need? 4 questions to ask yourself!

Many of us mid-lifers are looking at money from a new and different angle. We are wondering how much we need to set aside for retirement, how much we really need to just live comfortably and how or if we can live out some of our dreams NOW before we get too old to fully enjoy life. We've worked hard, raised our kids and want to enjoy some of our new found freedom but may not have the resources yet to do that. For people that do have the resources, perhaps as equity in the family home or investments, we fear shifting those securities to support new goals and desire, if we even have figured those out yet! To add to our anxiety people are feeling insecure with their future finances due to the unstable world circumstances (Covid) and national political climate.

So how do you quiet the fears and reconcile your dreams and goals with your bank statement? Do you keep putting off your desire to travel, need for more time off, need to explore new interests and hobbies that truly bring you joy or do you figure out just how much money you really need to live your dreams NOW? I say the latter and I suggest the following 4 questions to help you to take the stress of finances off and put your dreams, joy and bliss into focus!

1. Am I focused on my financial obstacles (real or perceived) or my goals & desires? So often we make obstacles our focus looking at the hurdles or mountain ahead versus the ground in front of us. When we see an obstacle there is always a desire underneath it. Where we focus makes all the difference; obstacle or Desire! Engaging our brain in the mode of challenge or problem solving by putting our focus there is far different than engaging a thought process of possibility! We have been trained to find solutions and strategies by operating in problem solving mode ( focus on the problem to find a solution) but brain research shows that when we activate our primitive brain by focusing on problem ( problem or challenge= DANGER!) we diminish our creative thinking ability. Focusing on problems is going to keep us in default mode, primitive response mode and not creative solution mode. It may feel counterintuitive at first but I challenge you to spend an equal amount or more time on visualization and clarifying your desires as you do focusing on the obstacles to them. Clarify your desires and bathe in the feeling you will have when you have reached them. Get yourself in the emotional "state" of accomplished vs the emotional state of stuck, overwhelm, frustration or fear! Focusing on your "State" is the first step! State must precedes strategy! Get in a positive state!

2. Do I have a destination in place and am I taking action? If you want to take a trip you have to first have a destination and then make the plan (strategy). Maybe it's time to examine your goals. Do you have your dreams broken down into actionable goals. "A goal is a dream with a deadline" ! When's the last time you wrote out your short and long term goals? Have they changed? What judgements , fears or limiting mindsets ( I'm too old for that, I missed my chance , that's a childish dream etc) are stopping you from creating new goals? Do you have them visible where you are focused and working on them? I highly recommend you pull out a journal or even better a large whiteboard and write down some lofty goals and desires for the next 3-6 months, 1-2 yrs and 5-10 yrs. Do NOT go in to problem solving, number crunching mode, or can I achieve this thinking , just write them down, define them and visualize and feel yourself succeeding at them - the number crunching and refining will come next.

3. What one financial goal can I achieve now? and Next? We all have heard the saying "you eat the elephant one bite at a time" or "take one day at a time" yet our nature seems to want to try to get it all done now, or delay it til tomorrow and focus on everything but today. We look forward for happiness that we think will come when we get that financial break or reach that financial milestone all the while today is all we really know for sure we have. So how do we live in joy and fulfillment TODAY while we are working toward our goals. We focus on ONE thing. For instance If we desire to travel then we should focus on travel and find ways to do it now, not "when"! Can you afford to start taking small trips? or can you make that big trip more of a financial priority than you have been by perhaps reallocating this weeks play money to the travel fund? So many people walk around saying "I wish I could, I really want to "BUT" Do they really want those things ? Are they taking the actions to achieve it or just complaining and staying comfortably stuck in excusitisville? Excuses are obstacles WE put up to keep ourself from truly living the life we want. We become comfortable in our default mode and really don't acknowledge and push through our resistance to new experiences, even if it's one we say we desperately want to have. Once you've chosen your priority to focus on let your brain find the resources. Put the details down and believe there is a way to achieve them. Be open to new ways to accomplish the goal, look out for new opportunities and be open and BELIEVE YOU CAN find the resources you need to achieve your goal. Today and everyday start with one next action ( and yes visualization counts as action) you can make to get you closer to your bliss filled goals!

4. What's the dream going to cost? Now it's time to get down to nitty gritty. You've set a goal and have some details needed to achieving it. You are taking steps. Focus some time every day that aligns with those goals and desires. If you want to sell your home, start getting it ready, tidy up, clear out and clean it up. If you want to travel start reading travel blogs and watching travels shows, getting prices for the places you want to go. Want to try a new career path or reach a new level in yours, maybe get a life coach to help you move forward with intentional clear and accountable action steps! Want to have a nest egg for security? consult a financial planner to review your future goals and make necessary adjustments to your budget and savings. Just do something everyday to keep progressing on the path of your desires and you will have fulfillment now and when you get there! As you start thinking more possibility thinking and less obstacle focused you may find that you didn't need as much money as you thought to achieve your goals! Remember we are always chasing a feeling(state) not a thing. Maybe the dream of living by the beach is attainable in a smaller house or the travel can be done in different ways than you ever imagined, with groups or scaled down. If you discovered your goals are going to cost a lot more than you have imagined than maybe you are now able to refocus with a deeper sense of optimism and focus while plodding along with purpose and faith that the goal will be achieved. Are you counting your blessings and putting state before strategy daily? Align with your desired state and take action daily!

I hope these questions brought you to a more optimistic and excited state and in to a "possibility" mindset. Now keep going in that spirit! Live TODAY fully and intentionally with focused action and joyful attention to your hearts desires and biggest goals, believing and working to achieve them! Abundance is all around, just look at all the falling leaves as evidence!! Everything you need is out there... and that goes for money too!

Happy Harvesting!

Theresa