It's mirror time!

Funny thing about midlife… you don’t always want to look too closely in the mirror but that’s exactly what we are beckoned to do. It’s a time to look at ourselves a bit more, or again. It’s a

time to really pay attention and evaluate what's beautiful and what areas needs some nurturing! What's weak and what's strong, What’s working for us and what’s not working. What energizes us or what depletes us. What we want to improve on or let go of for the next leg of the journey.

I am a mother so my experience may be different than those who have not spent the last 25 or so years ( in my case 37!) caring for others, sometimes at the expense of themselves. Maybe for those without children it’s time to do the exact opposite. (not to imply that if you weren’t a mother you did not give of yourself in other ways) Everyone’s journey to midlife is different: some spent it more focused on caring and raising children and some spent it more focused on career, societal or personal goals. I salute you and the unique journey that brought you here! Whether it’s time for you to focus more on yourself or on others it all will start with some self reflection and assessment! A good long look in the mirror!

When I look in the mirror I see age lines and fatigue most days. I see a woman who needs a retreat from distraction and time to replenish her body and soul. That is what I vowed to do this year. I committed to more “me time” and that includes taking long vacations away from my family. Part of me wishes I could “up and go” for a good long stretch like a year to some exotic island or foreign country TBH ( to be honest) but truth be told I wouldn’t be happy away from them that long. I love being a mother and grandmother!

I remember years ago as a young mother reading Ann Morrow Lindbergh's book , A Gift by The Sea . She talks about the great balancing act women play: “What a circus act we women perform every day of our lives…This is not the life of simplicity but the life of multiplicity that the wise men warn us of.” She speaks of the importance of women taking a respite. “Women need solitude in order to find the true essence of themselves” Anne Morrow Lindberg

As much as I love being a mother I also love being me and becoming even more authentically and fully Me, so I’m giving myself the gift of solitude more often these days. 2 weeks away at a clip is a luxury that I found a way to afford. I got creative!! This past summer I house sat for a friend and then she told another friend which led to another beach house sitting opportunity.

( If you need It and want it , you’ll find a way to get it!) If you have the means to just get away and not the initiative or courage I’m urging you now -GO AWAY! ;)

I thought that long vacations were a luxury only for the rich and elite. The irony is it’s the average income, middle America mother that probably needs it most! She has no housekeeper, nanny or cook , often no petty cash for routine massages and pampering. She is “on’ 24/7/365

I knew enough to take Anne's advice years ago and find some hours away and an occasional day or three. Being a single mother a week or more vacation seemed impossible to arrange and sadly I never got them. I wonder how my life would have been different if I did more self care, taken more me time, refreshed and renewed my body and soul ?

So how does a mother pull off 2 weeks away?… she probably doesn’t but there is hope and there are mini breaks you can squeeze in when you are young if you have the courage to make yourself a priority! And when you reach middle age...their is no excuse except the ones you make! I am not making anymore! How about you?

I am finally able to take those long breaks now because the kids are grown. I NEED to do it because they are grown but still not out on their own. I want and deserve some quiet. I need and deserve time to plot and plan the next leg of this life journey because in a blink they will be gone and I will be old. I don’t want to look in that mirror 10-15 years from now looking any more worn out than nature arranges. I don’t want to wish I had taken better care of ME! So I am committed to my “me (mirror) time” no matter how awkward and unnatural it feels!

What can you do today to start carving out time for you? Can you take a weekend away? A weeK? or my suggestion is 2 full weeks. There’s something magical that happens after that first week away. You find renewed energy and inspiration , you truly relax and cherish your solitude!

What WILL you plan for yourself to get that rest and refreshing you need and deserve so when you look in the mirror you see a glowing energized young face staring back at you saying… onward …Carpe Diem!?

“Women need solitude in order to find the true essence of themselves”

Anne Morrow LIndbergh